He knocks at the back door, and comes in, and seeming more comfortable, there on the worn linoleum in the kitchen, he finds his way around your kitchen with no problem, washing his hands in the kitchen sink, eyeing the sandwich where you put it on a plate, ruffled with lettuce, sharp with onion, waiting.
“That for me?” he asks, when you both know it is, that it’s way too much meat and bread for you, that it’s a man sandwich, a sandwich for a man who has been sweating, doing good work to work up a sweat. You want him to admit that he knows that it’s for him, just like everything else you could do for him.
But you just nod and smile. “Thought you might be hungry,” you say.
He sits down. “You thought right,” he says.
He fills your Windsor chair, its curved back swallowed by the largeness of him, and he fills your small kitchen. You drink in the shrinking space, the space he fills, and it makes you feel safe in a way that the many rooms in your house, even when clean, never can. You ask him if he wants more food, and he shakes his head.
“More tea?” you ask, jumping up to pull the pitcher from the fridge, but he’s telling you that he’s got to run. Stuff to do. He told Walter Blount he’d come help with that Buick he’s fixing and that his own truck needs an oil change, and as he stands, blocking the light pouring through the back door, you stand too. You wipe crumbs from the table that you cleaned this morning, the wood that you rubbed Murphy’s Oil into till it shone. You stroke the clean smooth wood with your fingertips and nod, saying you understand. That he’s awful good to be helping Walter that way.
You take a step toward the front room, but he goes to the back door. He goes to the back door away from the lemon smell and slipcovers, holding the knob in his hand, he reminds you to call him should that gutter come loose again, and then he thanks you for the sandwich, tapping the hat against his thigh. You tell him it’s the least you can do, and looking at him, framed there in the glass door, you see the glisten of sweat still shining on his broad forehead and heavy jaw.
He squints against the white light pouring in through the door. “Well,” he says.
You nod. “Well,” you say too. Then you move, lean forward and touch his arm, that finely shaped arm, strong as rope, and you ask, “Maybe you’ll come by one day when nothing needs to be fixed?”
He smiles, a smile you can’t read, a smile you don’t understand, one that doesn’t fit into a yes or no, and he opens the door, stepping out into that bright white light, saying, “Might do that.”
He walks away, swinging his hat, sweat making his shirt cling to his board-broad back, and you watch through the Windex-sparkling glass. You watch till he’s gone. You stand in your
Saturday clean lemon scented house and wonder what it is about a sweaty man--that sweaty man--that makes you want to have him sweat all over you, a sudden rain, an afternoon coastal storm, rolling in over you deep and thick as thunder, turning your dust-pan weekend into a vacation, into a slide-away trip to your very own life. Or what you thought once your life might be.
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